I’ve been loving my rice cooker. Between that and the air fryer it makes it super easy to prepare work-from-home lunches without having to do much of anything at all.
It’s a little Cuckoo 6-cup pressure rice cooker, which is the perfect size for me. And, look, probably the perfect size for anyone unless you have a massive family. I don’t know why rice cookers are always so enormous.
I’ll usually throw in a bit of seasoning, some msg, assorted herbs, bit of chilli depending on my mood, then put some marinated chicken in the air fryer, pop some some steamed veg on, and voila! It’s a low effort meal, and I can keep working at my desk while it cooks. It’s healthy and tasty, and one of my go-to CBF food strategies.
But today I was feeling a bit of a malaise. I didn’t just want rice and chicken, I wanted something more. Something extravagent. Something with a bit of fat to it, actually.
So when the rice cooker finished I had the genius idea to grate a bit of cheese into it, and stir it through. With a bit of parsley, some chicken salt, a springle of MSG you get cheesy rice! Fucking brilliant.
Continental Cheesy Rice
There used to be a Continental cheesy rice sachet thing I loved when I was a kid. I haven’t had it for decades so I had no idea if they still do it. The real thing was a surprise I didn’t know I needed, but I was curious so I googled it. And what the controversy!
This is my sons favourite food! I add garlic and ginger to spice it up and we love it! We have it at least twice a week. Please tell me you will never discontinue this product! I have just found out woolworths will no longer be selling this product. I am so disappointed. It looks like Coles still sell it so they will become my new weekly shopping destination.
To which the team at Continental replied:
Hi there, Lucy! We are glad that your family are enjoying our Cheesy rice. The team will be thrilled to hear this feedback and rest assured this will be noted for future product development. This has been deleted in Woolies and Coles, but you may still find this in IGA. Hope this helps!
Deleted in Woolies and Coles! I don’t know how Lucy will be able to rest assured about that.
I can’t say I’m hugely surprised it’s disappearing, given the explosion of the more convenient pouch- and microwaveable-rice segment. But the loyal Cheesy Rice consumers are not to be underestimated. Zarli says:
I have been eating cheesy rice for at least 7 years and I don’t think I’ll ever stop. I have it with creamy garlic prawns , chicken wedges , any other meal , on a sandwhich , by itself. I might turn into a cheesy rice if I keep going but please never stop making cheesy rice it’s the best thing ever
One thing is clear, the fans will be devastated when this made-in-Australia staple of ’90s pantries finally stops production. I might pop down to IGA and see if I can hunt down a packet for old time’s sake. Bit of weird food nostalgia.
That said, one reviewer wasn’t happy with the product at all. Phil gave it a scathing 1 out of 5 stars, saying “Not very cheesy.”
“The previous packs from last year were 100% better”
When I first moved back to Australia, I splurged a little on a new Internet router. I went with Google Wifi (now Nest Wifi) because they looked really pretty and the big name was reassuring against the backdrop of crappy brands with outdated software getting hacked all the time.
It turned out to be a medium sized mistake, because it didn’t work very well, the app was slow and buggy, and it just kinda sucked. But it worked fine enough for the past five years, until last week when it started glitching out.
First it disconnected from the mothership in the cloud so I couldn’t login to see what was happening. Then, slowly but surely, chunks of the Internet started disappearing. I rebooted to see if that would fix anything, but the router never came back up and completely took out my internet.
I swapped over to a 4G router and plugged my personal SIM card in. That ran ok for a while until I realised I could also use it to route directly into the NBN. But it was a fiddly solution so I wanted to replace it as soon as possible.
Replacing my router
I already have a separate wifi point set up, so I don’t need wifi in my router. This made things easier and cheaper. I asked around the Internet on my shortlist ended up looking like this:
TP-Link Omada ER707-M2 – the cheapest option, thank you China. A 2.5 gbit router with little else going for it.
Ubiquiti Cloud Gateway Max – a very pretty, more capable option for more than double the price. I was tempted by the shiny marketing, but I’m very reluctant to spend my money in the Untied States given the current social and geopolitical bullshit.
NanoPi R6S – a single board computer, that runs OpenWRT or your own choice of Linux if you want to tinker. This looks kinda awesome, but shipping was exorbitant and the prices on AliExpress left a bad taste. Also it wouldn’t arrive until next month anyway.
So I got the Omada. Paid ten bucks for shipping via Uber and it arrived a couple of hours later, before sitting in the box until I finished work and plugged it in.
I also want to thank the bne.social community who have been donating money into the pile to keep the server going. We dipped into the kitty to replace this one, and though I feel very weird about taking people’s money, it’s a pretty necessary investment.
TP-Link Omada ER707-M2
Unforch I don’t especially like it.
Physically it’s great; it’s a solid metal chassis which harks back to the blue Netgear routers of old. Feels premium. But mentally, the software kind of sucks.
I haven’t been able to get IPv6 working yet because it doesn’t support it by default. I’ve poked around and managed to get a WAN assignment, but local machines still can’t see out to the internet. The inline help is daft to the point of useless, and the docs are questionable at best.
Also frustratingly while there’s an option to enable MDNS, it doesn’t seem to do anything so I can’t resolve any local hostnames. I didn’t even realise that was a router feature until I bought one that didn’t do it. It does have an option to add custom DNS entries, but I can’t get them to work either, and it seems to be a widespread issue.
So it’s a bit of a weird one. To me that rules it out for home or small business use, which leaves me wondering: who is this even for? Cheap idiots like me? Ultimately it’s been a huge fuck-around and I’m somewhat regretting not waiting and going the simpler Linux route.
The dim home: when the smarts go away
To add insult to injury, when the router died it took out my smart home with it. Suddenly none of my lights or outlets were online, which meant my cosy, low-light collection of lamps and accents were no longer usable. The fish tank wasn’t turning on, the bookshelf wasn’t illuminating, the little bulb with the patterns by the couch was dark, and the miniature salt lamp? You guessed it: out like a light. On the flip side, the lamps either side of my bed got stuck at full brightness, so come bedtime I had to reach down into the cobwebs at the back to flick them off at the wall.
But perhaps the most insulting thing was I had to use the big lights. And even worse, they were all configured at different colour temperatures. Yucko.
“The big light is for interrogation purposes only”
All my smart stuff runs through Home Assistant which I quite like. But most of my hardware is run over Zigbee through a hacked dongle running custom firmware that I just couldn’t get talk to me any more, which meant I couldn’t control any of my lights or switches.
I was exhausted after a week at work and not really mentally in it, so I bought the Home Assistant Connect ZB-2 zigbee/thread adapter to replace it. I was hesitant because B has a massive and vocal Home Assistant grudge after he bought into a hardware product they overpromised and completely failed to deliver on. But having seen some reviews, and read their fairly frank explanation of what this thing is and what the limitations are, I figured I’d take a punt. I paid express post so thanks to the inconveniently located weekend non-delivery schedule, it’s going to arrive next week.
On Saturday, B came over and started poking around at the dongle, and we pretty quickly discovered that it’s working completely fine. It was just that the IP address had changed so Home Assistant couldn’t find it. Duh, in retrospect. But now everything works again.
I also took the opportunity to pair my original first gen Lifx colour bulb that’s been sitting disconnected in my desk lamp after it randomly stopped working a year or so back. I’d tried to set it up a few times since, but when I paired it this time, the app helpfully told me why it wasn’t working: this version of Android was too new to connect to the bulb. So I pulled out my emergency iPad, charged it up, and got this ancient thing back online. I bought the light bulb in a black Friday sale back in 2014, and it’s travelled the world with me since. Kind of cool.
The final thing I’m happy about was setting up a little automation to make sure all my Big Lights are in sync colour temperature-wise. I was really impressed with Gemini, it combined all my requirements into one automation, and I learned a bunch in the process. The Home Assistant GUI is fine enough, but having Gemini create snippets I could edit with YAML, and have them appear back in the GUI is very, very cool actually. I had no idea you could use multiple triggers, or add template logic in values.
Ultimately: this whole thing has been a pain in the butt. I don’t want to have to deal with any of this but I have dug myself into a deep home automation hole in particular.
My place is dark, so I do really like having my lamps and lights come alive in the morning and turn off at night. It’s kind of a SAD lamp situation. I also have a bunch of indoor plants and a fish tank that are only alive because of these automations, so there’s really no going back now.
So I don’t know. Now I’m back online I will have to make peace with the situation and make things as resilient as possible. One of the ways is by disconnecting my automations from the internet completely, but I’ll never be able to disconnect them from my home network. Maybe. Let me know if you have a good zigbee switch that doesn’t burn through batteries.
Just a quick note because I found this useful and the @types/geojson docs aren’t especially verbose.
Type a GeoJSON returned from a fetch (TypeScript)
import type { FeatureCollection, Geometry } from 'geojson';
// Create a standard GeoJSON object with custom properties for each feature:
type MyFeatureCollection = FeatureCollection<
Geometry,
{
// Your types go here
name: string;
id: string;
height?: number;
color?: string;
}
>;
// Fetch and apply types to our GeoJSON obj
const myGeoJSON = await fetch('/au.geo.json')
.then(res => res.json() as Promise<MyFeatureCollection>);
At this point you get autocomplete in VSCode Intellisense (or equivalent), for standard GeoJSON props, as well as your own custom properties. Pretty cool.
The Brisbane Convention Centre has cheap parking, and free car charging. So for $16 a day in parking, I can fill my car up with as much juice as I like. Which is a pretty good deal.
I’ve been meaning to charge the EV for a couple of weeks. It’s been sitting on 10% battery for a fair while now, but just haven’t got around to it. There’s only 8 car chargers, and they get busy during the day, so I usually drop the car in overnight, schedule it to start charging in the morning when there’s plenty of solar in the grid, and voila; free volts. But it’s a big ask. Especially when it’s late, you’re snoozy, and just want to go to bed.
So in the interests of trying something new, I organise with a friend to charge it tomorrow at their apartment complex. We work out the details and I put it in my calendar, but then my brain twitches:
Wait a minute.
Didn’t you drop the car in to charge last week?
And did you ever pick it up again?
No?
How much is THAT going to cost? Will it even still be there? Have they cut the cable and towed it to an undisclosed location?
PANIC!
With a massive pit in my stomach I set my Slack status to “lunch” and race out the door, almost forgetting my car keys. There’s no scooters around, but the bus is only a stop away, so I take that.
I share my situation with the lady in the car park office, who seems nonplussed. “Just drive out” she says.
So I do.
And you know what? The ticket machine has forgotten about me. The QR code scans as per normal, and as the boom gates lift the screen flashes the usual message: “Charged: $16”.
I double-check, and sure enough the invoice has only charged me for today. I was expecting it to run into the hundreds, but there were no consequences whatsoever for my whatever-it-was moment. Bank error in my favour, I’m off scot free. And after all that it’s kind of nice to know that the machines can have forgetful moments too.
Alchemize is a lightweight tool to minify and pretty-print your code snippets from around the web. It’s perfect for developers to format messy API responses, debug broken or unreadable code, learn new JS tricks from the Terser engine, or share polished snippets with teammates.
Initially written in jQuery and after a good ten years since the last release, I thought it was time to rewrite my little code playground from scratch.
The new Alchemize is based on Preact and Vite for a more modern developer experience, uses the same editor component as VSCode, and natively supports light and dark mode. It’s been upgraded to mainly use Terser and Prettier under the hood, which brings updated JS & CSS support and should make these a lot easier to maintain going forward.
♻️ Modern tech stack A complete under-the-hood revamp for better performance and future-ready support. 🛠️ Industry-standard tooling Built on trusted technologies like Prettier and Terser for formatting and minification. ✨ Latest JavaScript and CSS support Enjoy the most up-to-date syntax features and improved styling support. 📚 Better language detection Alchemize now does a smarter job at figuring out what kind of code you’re working with.
What people said about v2
Before Google killed off Chrome apps, the app had a loyal following on the Chrome Web Store where it got a bunch of great reviews which really made my day:
“Great for checking, untangling, prettifying, and minifying JSON and other formats.”
Richard H
“Very helpful, small and effective, without the bloat of a full editor — with great error-catching capability.”
Stefan C
“I’m using this more and more now. Perfect way to make my code look nice before sharing it.”
Andrew L
🚀 Try Alchemize v3 today
The new version is live — no installation required unless you want to install it as a desktop app. Just open the app, paste your code, and experience the magic:
Pocket was a pretty great little app. It let you save articles, read them later, tag them etc. I used it because it was integrated with my Kobo ebook reader, so I could save stories and read them on that. But then Mozilla unceremoniously killed it.
I wouldn’t have minded so much except that I’m using the API to power the bookmarks section of my website. I was using it to share articles I find particularly interesting, and there’s an RSS feed for the particularly adventurous. But that’s been broken for the last little while.
I migrated over to Instapaper since that seemed to be the reliable alternative, but their API has a manual human approval process, and I’m neither patient nor confident enough that will succeed.
So I had a new idea: what if I just post to Mastodon with a specific hashtag, then use the Mastodon API to collate them all together. That way get the benefit of sharing links on socials, but it’s also much easier than having another third party app.
Long story short I gave Kilo Code some specs and it built an implementation that searches the Mastodon API for posts matching any post from me with the hashtag #link (just searches for “#link from:@ash“), then it grabs the metadata and hashtags from the API, and merges those into my existing bookmarks.json file that runs the whole thing.
I’m not going to post code because you can probably write something more to your liking. But I thought the concept was cool, and now I’m thinking about other possibilities, like having a music recommendations playlist that pulls from my posts in the #NowListening hashtag.
I saw this post on BlueSky the other day and it tickled me slightly. And I was reminded of it because in a way, that’s exactly what I’m doing now. Using loosely marked up socials as the backend.
BlueSky and YouTube are down at the same time. This is because, to save money on storage costs, BlueSky just saves all our posts as comments on one kid’s middle school science fair presentation in 2011 (he lost)
On Sunday we launched the project we’ve been working on for the last little while, Deep Time. It’s an immersive story of the knowledge, art and ingenuity of Australia’s First Nations peoples — told like never before.
It brings together knowledge from dozens of knowledge holders in Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities, incredible art, design, and if I say so myself, some pretty slick dev work. It was very, very much a team effort and I feel privileged to work with some of the most creative and accomplished colleagues across the journo, design, and dev spectrum. Check out the About page for a full list of credits.
For some technical details it’s implemented with Sveltekit and adaptor-static. Aside from the homepage most of the animation is hand-coded, including the scroll-tied transitions. Josh did some amazing work manipulating SVGs on the fly in Tell Me A Story, and I had fun implementing a pseudorandom starfield in Time that fades in and out as you read the story.
I feel like there’s a lot of interesting dev work I could talk about, but for the moment I just wanted to share it with you because it’s been a massive effort and I’m really proud of what we achieved. I hope you check it out:
I was sure everything would work. I had a little bit of mastodon maintenance to do out of hours, so I stayed up, kicked it off at midnight, and went to bed at half past twelve.
I set my alarm for 0830 and this would have been fine but for the machinery on the street that started making noise at 0545. Sometimes the garbage trucks rock up at this time, so I stayed in bed with my eyes closed trying to get back to sleep, but it kept going; unending bass thrumming punctuated with reversing beeps.
Turns out it’s a new construction site breaking ground. They were moving a medium sized diesel crane into position, letting it idle, and occasionally rev up to do who knows what. People were going up and down on a scissor lift, beeping all the way. And you’d better believe all the noise came straight into my bedroom.
Bleary eyed and feeling like a sack of shit, I called the Brisbane Council noise hotline to complain. The helpful lady confirmed “that’s not classed as construction noise,” so there’s no noise complaint to make. She suggested I keep a noise diary.
I’m so tired.
I rearranged my life to wake up at 0600 for a while there, but I fell out of the habit for a few reasons. But if this is what Brisbane Council counts as reasonable, I think I need to start again because I have little other agency over my life. This city.
As far as treatments went, this one scared me shitless. The doctor prescribed a CT guided nerve root injection. Essentially they stick a needle in your spine using a CT machine to make sure it doesn’t accidentally go into the nerve or anywhere else nasty, then inject a combo of anaesthetic and steroids to calm everything the fuck down.
Rational brain understands this is a normal procedure, and people get a lot of benefit out of it. It’s not a silver bullet but it’s a tool to help things heal, in conjunction with physiotherapy and not being a big fucking idiot for the next little while. But anxious brain started humming along, filling itself with a background radiation of bad thoughts. The x-ray place gave me next to no information about the procedure straight up, so all I really had was secondhand info.
The one thing they were adamant about was making sure I had someone drop me off and pick me up. You can’t drive after the procedure, because the anaesthetic can put your leg(s) to sleep. So big thanks to Ad for taking time off work to rescue me here.
They told me they wouldn’t do the procedure unless they had someone drop me off, But when I arrived they gave zero shits and waved me through to the sitting area.
The nurse who called my name was a little weird. But to be fair, I was a little weird at that point too, pretty freaked out. She guided me down a stark white corridor dotted with doors to unknowable places, before plopping me in a chair and handing me a bunch of consent forms with all the information I wish I’d had earlier. Then she disappeared down the corridor through one of the doors. I didn’t see where she went.
Your Doctor has requested that you undergo a Nerve Root Sleeve (NRSI) and/or Epidural Injection (El). A Queensland X-Ray radiologist will perform this procedure.
NRSI is the introduction of local anaesthetic and/or steroid into the sheath around the nerve. This is usually requested because the nerve is thought to be inflamed
I took a moment to scan the forms before signing them. As I was reading, another patient was discharged. An older lady. The technician pointed down the corridor to the exit and sent her on her way. But as she shuffled her way toward freedom the technician burst back through the door, calling out and waving a disposable coffee cup.
The lady turned around in confusion, then put her hands over her mouth as a look of horror crossed her face.
This can’t be coffee, I surmised as the nurse led the woman into a bathroom for some privacy. The cup contained, presumably, a full set of false teeth left behind accidentally. It’s quite common, I’m sure.
I signed the documents and stood around awkwardly until my nurse returned.
This examination is best performed under CT guidance and may take up to 30 minutes to perform. You will be lying on your stomach for the duration of the procedure. A scan is taken to localise the area to be injected. The skin on your back/ back of your neck will be cleaned with an antiseptic solution and local anaesthetic will be injected into the area. This may sting slightly for a short time.
She led me through one of the mystery doors. My prize: a bed covered in pillows, hanging out of a machine that looked like a giant robot doughnut. I was pretty impressed the first time I did a CT scan, I didn’t realise how they worked until I looked it up. It’s essentially an x-ray machine that spins around, building up a 3D image of whatever irradiated subject happens to be in its path. Similar principle to an MRI I guess but different tech.
She asked me to lay on the bed in a Superman pose, which confused the hell out of me and took a minute to work out what she meant. But then I carefully deposited myself face down on the bed and rearranged some pillows for comfort. Later I’d wish I’d rearranged them more. But that was the least of my problems.
With consent the nurse lifted my shirt and pulled down my shorts, then put some kind of measuring tool on my back. Then the fun started. The bed crawled slowly into the machine, going back and forth a bit to adjust itself, then a robot told me not to move and to stop breathing now.
Gasp.
It wasn’t until that point that I realised how shallow I’d have been breathing already. The thought of someone digging around in my spinal cord while I was taking big gasps and moving around wasn’t super appealing, and the pillows were constricting my ability to breathe as well. So when I was asked to hold my breath, the fire in my lungs added to all the other anxieties racing through my head and once I was finally allowed to take a breath I was almost hyperventilating. I had to really focus on breathing shallow, but enough to be comfortable.
A needle is then directed into the area under imaging guidance. The position of the needle-tip is checked with imaging and x-ray dye (contrast) may be injected. The local anaesthetic and/or steroid are then injected. There may be an increase in the leg pain when the injection commences. This pain usually eases as the anaesthetic spreads around the nerve root.
After that was all lined up, the doctor came in and introduced himself to me. I was laying face down on a bed, and couldn’t exactly move so he crouched down next to me like I was a toddler to ask me if I’d ever had this procedure before.
“Nevarrr” I said, immediately realising how weird a response that was. My brain was racing and I was afraid to move even though nothing had happened yet. I wasn’t the best conversationalist.
But the doctor was good. He explained what was about to happen, much the same as the consent form, before getting to work.
Actually he was very good. I barely felt the anaesthetic, which from past experience can be pretty unpleasant. I mentioned that to him and he said he did it really slowly, so thanks for that. But the next section was the one I was especially not looking forward to.
I saw the nurse rifling around on the table for the needle. I saw how long the packaging was, but at that point I didn’t see how long the needle itself was. A small blessing, because when they removed it afterwards it looked like something you might use on a hippo or some other large animal you didn’t particularly like. Definitely not what I’d want going into my own body.
But it did. The doctor had several goes guiding the needle in, then sending me into the CT machine to check the positioning. As it got closer I started to feel something not unlike pain. I mentioned it and he told me the anaesthetic may not reach quite so far in. Thankfully it wasn’t pain as much as a weird pain-adjacent sensation, I continued doing the best job I could laying completely still and not moving.
It took maybe six 6 or 7 trips into the CT before he was satisfied. He injected a contrast dye and sent me back in one last time, apparently to highlight the nerves and make sure the needle wasn’t going to smash into them. Then the scary part began.
Risks associated with the procedure may include:
Pain and/or bruising at the needle puncture site.
Bleeding in the deeper tissues.
Infection involving redness, swelling, or increased pain over the injection site. Fever or chills need to be directly reported to QXR Radiology and your referring doctor.
Headache can occur in less than 1% of uncomplicated Epidural Injections.
Occasionally, the sac containing the spinal nerve roots may be punctured during the needle placement. If the sac is punctured there is a potential for fluid to slowly leak out over time giving you a headache. The radiologist performing the procedure will alert you if this has occurred. This is not a serious situation. You will be asked to lie flat for 4 hours and to drink plenty of fluid. This helps prevent any headache. The risk of headache after sac puncture is about 5%.
Direct injection into the nerve root produces intense pain and may damage the nerve resulting in loss of sensation and weakness of the muscle supplied by the affected nerve.
Very rare complications (<1:100 000) include direct damage to the spinal cord or injury to a blood vessel causing weakness in limbs or other spinal symptoms such as problems with bladder and bowel function.
Risks associated with injectable drugs used including allergic reaction or toxicity. Very severe reaction is rare and a life threatening reaction is extremely rare (< 1: 100,000).
Adverse effects from injected steroids
On occasion the cortisone (steroid) used in this injection can initially cause a reaction known as a “steroid flare”, which may cause more pain in the area of injection.
Backache or sciatica due to the muscle being aggravated by the insertion of the needle or injection. This is usually mild and temporary.
Injury to the spinal cord.
Any procedure has the potential to be associated with unpredictable risks including death.
The doctor reminded me that there may be a flare of pain as the steroid went in. I’ve been dealing with this for weeks now, so I was pretty relaxed about that. In the end I felt a bit of tightness, some pain adjacency, and then it was done. He ripped the needle out and that was that.
After it was complete it felt weird. I felt weird. I continued laying face down not wanting to move; less of a Superman, more of a scare goat. Based on feeling, I wasn’t 100% sure everything had been removed so I didn’t want to jeopardise my precious spine until the nurse confirmed I could sit up.
I had a bit of trouble getting up, that’s one of the things that has been hurting this whole time. I wasn’t sure how much the injection would be masking, I wasn’t sure if putting pressure on my spine was a good idea at this point. But the professionals assured me it was ok, so I pushed myself into a sitting position with a small but diminished amount of pain, then stood up.
Then I sat straight back down again. I was light-headed and felt like I was going to tumble over. The nurse said the colour had drained out of my face, and asked the technician to bring a glass of water.
I thanked her and said, “hopefully this one’s not full of teeth.”
It was a weird experience. I realised the background sciatic pain I’d been dealing with was completely gone. I hadn’t noticed how bad it was until it wasn’t there anymore, so that was a success. There was still a bit of back pain, but that that’s not what the treatment was for so I wasn’t too fussed. But I could still feel a tugging in my back as I walked, so that bit of tightness was still there even though the anaesthetic had calmed the nerves.
The whole procedure from walking in the door to walking out again was only 45 minutes, and once again they gave zero shits about my driver. I should have just taken an Uber.
On the way out I messaged B:
The anaesthetic started to wear off a bit past midnight. But the steroid definitely didn’t: when I tried to sleep I felt my heart rate going crazy. I checked my watch and it had slowly ticked up all afternoon since the injection, to somewhere between 100 and 110 beats per minute just laying in bed. A resting heart rate of 90. Hectic.
It’s a bit weird but apparently insomnia can be a side effect too. Laying in bed at 2am writing blog posts, I definitely felt like I’d been smashing coffee all day. Whenever I closed my eyes there was another thought or impulse or distraction to keep me from sleeping and it was very frustrating, especially since I was planning to be woken in a few hours by the construction site and my upstairs neighbour’s asshole dog.
But the heart rate started heading back down a little, and the sciatica was under control mostly. I wouldn’t have even called it pain, just another distraction.
But I’m feeling optimistic about things. The next few days will be taking it very easy, and I’ve already spoken to the physio about what recovery looks like. I don’t have a program yet, but I think on the weekend I’m going to go do some bench press. It’s allowed. I wouldn’t if it weren’t. And I’m very motivated not to let this happen again.
Shirley Manson found God in tramadol, but all I got was this lousy pain in the butt.
I’ve always had issues with my leg, whenever I’ve done weight training or intense cycling. If I don’t do enough preventative stretching, or sometimes even if I do, the muscles in my butt tighten up and start causing leg pain, lower back pain, sometimes a little sciatica. I thought that’s what was happening this time, but instead of getting better it just kept getting worse.
It started fairly innocuously, a bit of tightness in the leg. Soreness when I tried to stretch it out, mostly manifesting as lower back pain. After a couple of weeks of not getting better I went to see the physio for some massage and a program of stretches. It helped. Movement helps. Once I’ve warmed up, I’m doing great. But every night things would reset.
There was no one thing that caused it, but driving to my parents place didn’t help. My car isn’t uncomfortable, but sitting in the driving position for 4 hours at a time still really aggravates things. I kept up my physio program while I was up there, but the drive back just made things worse again.
Then on Sunday I thought I’d take a little bike ride. Nothing intense, just to get some movement, you know? The thing that helps?
Well it didn’t.
That night was agony. I’ve never had pain quite like it. Neural pain. The kind that you can’t touch; there’s no particular spot it hurts, it’s just everywhere and nowhere all at once. Waves of fire without the heat, giving way to a hellish TV static of misfiring nerves where the best you can do is tune to the least offensive channel. Settling for a pervasive ache that never quite goes away.
On the first few nights the only relief I could get was standing up. Ironically, sitting or laying would make everything arc up, but to get some relief I would wander around upright in my darkened living room until the tiredness got the better of me. As you can imagine, it’s not a good position to sleep in, so I didn’t get any.
I’d been self-medicating with ibuprofen since I figured an anti-inflammatory would help, but it didn’t really. So on Tuesday I went to the doctor and he prescribed tramadol, a scary sounding opiate that turned out to not do very much of anything at all.
I’ve been to the physio a few times now and the doctor largely agreed with his diagnosis of piriformis syndrome: a condition where the piriformis muscle in the butt gets angry and pinches the sciatic nerve. But since it can also be caused by more scary spinal issues he sent me for a CT scan to rule that out. It’s almost 4:00 a.m. now so that means my follow-up appointment in about 5 hours, and I’m looking forward to the possibility of a steroid injection to chill things right the fuck out. I hear good things.
In the meantime I’m laying here on the couch with my heat pad turned up to 5. I thought I was improving because yesterday was fantastic, but then I woke up to that pervasive jangly fire-not-fire down my leg. And it’s not that the drugs don’t work. It’s just that they transmogrify the pain instead of entirely killing it. Like the upgrade from analogue to digital; the signal is still messed up but at least now it’s in high definition.
I walked into the doctor’s office and saw he was carrying a little model of the spine, and I was like, ‘fuck’. So it’s not best case. But it’s not the worst, so whatever.
In the next post, join me for a nerve root injection (but I won’t blame you if you don’t).
